Yes! I’m pregnant!
A question that i’ve been asked a lot and a question I’m sure people have been afraid to ask since having Uriel is if I plan on trying again, or when will I? For a while I was just in this blank space where I didn’t know the answer. Then after a while Luis and I both decided that the best thing to do was to wait a year or so. Wellllllllll long story short, trying to “waiting a year or so” was pure TORTURE!!! It just seemed so long and so far away. So after 3 months and the approval of our midwife we decided to try again. I was so nervous and scared but also really excited! My want for having another baby was sooooo much more bigger than how scared or nervous I was. And yes, I thought about it maybe being too soon, letting myself heal emotionally etc etc. But lets be honest, I will probably never fully heal.
Anyways, lets get to the deets.
How I found out
We found out on Levi’s birthday! Sept 3rd! We were celebrating his birthday in Connecticut in my dads back yard. I was already late like 3 days. Luis and I went to Walmart to get some party decorations for Levi’s birthday and I was like “hmmm maybe we should get a test”. I was convinced I was not pregnant. I just didn’t think it would happen so soon (at this point we were trying for like a month and a half). Anyway, we literally couldn’t wait to get to the house so yupp, I took the test in the car! Don’t ask any questions lol! We waited to see a result before driving off. To our surprise it was POSITIVE!!! I high-fived Luis for doing such a good job lol just kidding!
We were in so much shock!!! I started to cry almost instantly. One, because I was so scared of losing another baby! Two, because I felt soooo incredibly guilty! Although I knew this wouldn’t happen, I didn’t want this to mean that we forget about Uriel. This baby isnt by ANY means a replacement. I also realized my heart wanted to mourn for some more time without having to focus on anything else. Three, because I was filled with so much joy! Nonetheless this pregnancy could not have come at a better time! Despite all the emotional struggles we’ve come across these past few months this pregnancy made things a little better. I’m not sure what this pregnancy after loss journey will bring, besides my anxiety levels being out the roof, but I’m really excited to embark!
Getting back to Levi’s birthday Luis and I couldn’t stop making eye contact and smiling at each other like we were high school kids and whispering “omg we’re pregnant!” Lol! It still feels unreal to us. We’re so blessed and forever grateful that we are able grow our own little rainbow baby, and also really excited to be adding a GIRL to the collection haha!
Rainbow baby coming May 11th!
2 days before Uri’s birthday!