Hey guys! So now that midterm season is finally over, I can finally make some time to sit and update you guys on this rollercoaster journey of my pregnancy after loss.
As of today 04/08/2019 I am 35 weeks and 2 days pregnant! It has felt like the longest pregnancy ever but I am so happy that the end is near.
How is baby doing?
She is doing great! I am being seen by a high risk doctor and she has been doing such a great job at monitoring her and helping my anxiety levels not sky rocket. As I had hoped, I am being induced early and you guys!… this literally makes me so happy! I’ve heard stories of doctors who won’t induce you after a loss and that just makes me cringe. So with that being said i’ll be getting induced at around 38 weeks (i’m trying to convince my doc to induce me at 37 weeks but she’s not having it) and I turn 38 weeks on April 27th!!!!!! However, this isn’t a definite date, it all depends on how baby is doing really.
Doctor’s appointments are pretty intense right now. I’m currently going in 3 times a week, sometimes 4. I know, I practically live there but I really wouldn’t have it any other way. One of those weekly appointments are to see my high risk doctor and all the others are for NSTs. NST’s are non-stress test, where baby girl is hooked up to a monitor for about 2 hours and it monitors her heart rate and notices any inconsistencies, and it also checks to see if she’s under any stress in there. The best part is they give me snacks lol! Wait actually, the best part is hearing her heart beating for 2 hours, and THEN the snacks. I literally would have never thought the sound of a beating heart would bring me so much calm.
How am I doing?
Every time I get asked this question, without fail, I take a deep breathe because it hasn’t been a smooth and easy pregnancy. Physically I feel like a big blob of goop lol and mentally, anxiety is slowly creeping up on me. Uri passed away sometime during week 37 and I am terrified of getting to my 37th week. I wish I could just skip it. I try to tell myself that this is a different pregnancy which also means different outcome, but that only helps a little until I start feeling anxious again.
I am so selfishly on top of her movements! I’m always on top of when she kicks, how many times, what times of the day, after which meals, etc. I catch myself going crazy about her movements and expect her to move 24/7 as if she’s not human, a baby at that! I fail to realize that most of the time maybe she’s is just sleeping, chillin’ living her best life in there.
I posted a poll on instagram, asking you guys what I should incorporate in this pregnancy update and most of the people who took the poll want to know what I’ve been craving lol. I actually haven’t been craving much. I’ll have days when I’ll say oh! I want this or I want that, but nothing that lasts a very long time. So far I’ve craved grapefruit a lot. I was on the Entenmann’s pound cake train for almost two weeks. That’s really about it, something I have been hating is cheese! Specifically american cheese, barf! I have a friend who hates american cheese and I’ve always judged him because it was my favorite cheese but now i’m like yeeeessss I totally get it!
Big brother Levi is so excited! He’s always talking to her, sometimes yelling lol. I’m sure at this point she recognizes Levi’s voice more than she does mine. He always tells her “you’re gonna come on Monday and see me” or “mommy’s doctor is going to cut her and then you’re gonna come out”. (I had a c-section with Levi and he has seen my scar, so that’s why he says the doctor is going to cut me. My doctor and I both are hoping for a vaginal delivery this time around but really how do I explain that to Levi? So I just go with the whole doctor cutting me scenario lol.) He’s also made it clear that he is not helping me with diaper changes because he doesn’t want poop on his hands. I’ll take it, valid point.
xoxo – Jolanny