Hey guys! Welcome back to my blog!
So! Let’s get right into it… my birth story. As you guys all know I was going in for regular monitoring almost every other day. It was Thursday morning, I was 36 weeks and 5 days. I go in for my regular NST (non stress test) as usual, spend 2 hours on the machine watching and hearing Elsie’s heartbeat. The midwife in charge that day looks at the baby’s heart rate and tracing and tells me that there seems to be an inconsistency in her heart rate but it’s nothing to worry about. She schedules me to go back in that Saturday which was only 2 days later and tells me that if her heart rate seems inconsistent there might be a chance that i’ll be getting induced. Induced!!!!!!!!!!! I was like holy sh*t! We were totally not ready to possibly have a baby that weekend. Im not even kidding you guys, that same day we went to target and finished all of our baby shopping. The next day I washed all of her clothes. We were on it! Considering we had a high chance of being induced.
Saturday April 20th came around and I’m at the labor and delivery unit nice and early. I get connected to NST machines and ask to speak to a midwife. She comes in and I address my concerns. I told her that I am concerned because for my last two NST’s the baby’s heart rate and tracing have been inconsistent and that really worries me because I lost my son at 37 weeks, and that very same day I turned 37 weeks. I ask her what is it we’re waiting for to induce me if full term is considered 37 weeks and up? She agrees with me & understands my concerns. She says they’re going to get my lab work done and in the meantime she’s going to speak to her team about my concerns. At this point I am praying and hoping that I get induced. I really didn’t want to take any chances because Uri was born at 37 weeks 5 days and I was already 37 weeks.
3 hours and a bunch of apple juice later, the midwife comes back and tells me that my lab results are back and it seems like I have early preeclampsia (which I also developed with Levi) and because of this I would be getting induced that very same day!!!!!! I literally couldn’t hold back my tears because I felt like I could finally see the light at the end of the tunnel and you guys this is the ONE time I was happy hearing the word preeclampsia. They asked me if I wanted to get induced right away or I wanted to wait for Luis. I said I would wait because I wanted him to be there, but mostly because I wanted to stall contractions lol. Also, I knew that I would try to go without an epidural for as long as possible.
7pm – Luis finally gets there and I get induced! I remind all the nurses and everyone involved in my labor that I did not want epidural, even if I begged for it (I obv didn’t know what I was getting myself into). Contractions start and are pretty tolerable, Luis is massaging me through them. I was really trying to stay calm because if my blood pressure went up that meant I had to have a c-section and this girl was NOT by any means trying to get a c-section. I had one with Levi and let’s just say it was not very pleasant.
10pm – Contractions are a somewhat stronger but nothing I couldn’t handle. The nurses are helping me with breathing exercises and massaging my back. I’m drinking juice, eating my ice and even consider watching Jane the Virgin lol. I was dilated about 6-7cm.
11:30 pm – WOOOOOOOOOOOOO child!!! Contractions were VERY intense! I mean to the point where I thought I was going to pass out. They were coming about every 40 seconds and lasting a pretty long time. I was crying in between contractions and begging for the epidural because I really could not take the pain. Shoutout to my nurse Kaitlyn who every time I asked for an epidural would just ask me to breathe and think about why I decided to go with no epidural to begin with.
Let’s talk about then pain. I obviously knew it was going to hurt, but I was NOT by any means expecting that kind of pain. & I’m not trying to scare anyone here lol. I thought active labor contractions felt like very intense period cramps and they do, but imagine intense cramps in your stomach, legs and back.
1am – I. CAN. NOT. BREATHE. AT. THIS. POINT. I am desperate! I sit here and try to describe the feeling but honestly nothing comes close to it. My nurse sees how desperate I am and calls the anesthesiologist over to administer the epidural. I was so happy that relief was soon to come. The anesthesiologist comes in and is ready to disinfect my back to start the process for the epidural. My nurse then decides to check how dilated I am. You guys. I was 10cm dilated!!!!!! I remember hearing “oh no, you’re ready to push”. I start crying again – yes I’m a cry baby lol. I was crying because I am really about to push a baby out of my vagina without any type of meds. I was not ready! I know this sounds crazy but I literally envisioned my body splitting in half from giving birth lol. Luis comes back in the room, comes to my left side and I start to push.
1:29am – SHE’S HERE!!! I could not believe I just had a vagina come out of my vagina lol. I freaking did it!!!!! I’ll forever remember the moment she finally came out. Luis and I looked at each other and he said “we did it baby”. Pregnancy after loss is no joke you guys and I was beyond happy to say goodbye to all the anxiety. She really made every single contraction, every single tear worth it.
My reason for wanting an unmedicated birth was because I felt like I owed it to my body. Growing a baby and giving birth is the most empowering moment a woman can ever go through and the worst moment a woman can go through is losing a child. I felt like if you were to translate the level of emotional pain of losing a child into physical pain, an unmedicated birth would be a piece of cake. I went through the worst pain ever which was losing my baby so I really did believe that an unmedicated birth would be a walk through the park – and it wasn’t, but I did it!
Hope you enjoyed!
xoxo – Jolanny